“It takes all kinds of people to make the world. A cop, after years of chasing criminals and booking them, approached a wise man and expressed his concern that the world was fast becoming an evil place. The wise man smiled knowingly and replied, “That will keep you in business and raise your chances of getting ahead in your career!”

Thus, if you look around, you will get to see many kinds of children-some happy, some sad, some bright, some dull, some talented, some sloppy, some naturally brilliant, yet others without a clue to what they’re here for. For some, courtesy and politeness come naturally, while others are boorish. Separating the grain from the chaff, you’d often think what the parenting secret is, behind raising wonder-kids!

And you as a parent are sure to wonder if your parenting method is alright. Actually, you’d often be filled with self-doubt regarding your parenting skills.

Given the rat-race children are exposed to, you’d also think whether it’s wise to pressurize children, or just let them be. While you’re running the race for your children, a few elderly parents would even advise you not to force your child into anything!

When your little one argues with you or seems demanding, while some may look alarmed, some could even give an appreciative glance at your child for his ‘cute behavior’, leaving you thoroughly perplexed!

Parents of good, bright, well-mannered children do have parenting secrets.

1. The first parenting secret, is to be your child’s role-model. Your child’s mind is like wet clay, which can be shaped the way you like. You got to be discerning how exactly you want your child to shape out. And the first persons they will emulate, is you-their parents! Your personality, attitude and behavior are all under scrutiny. No matter how much they may be influenced by the external world, their first role-model has to be you. Check how you act and your children will follow your foot-steps. 
2. Wise parents create a secure home environment and this is a wise parenting secret. Wise parents allow children to express their feelings without labeling them as childish or bad. There is no ‘bad’ feeling. Even jealousy and possessiveness are a part of emotions, which if suppressed, can be harmful to your child’s personality. It doesn’t mean you have to turn a blind eye. Instead, teach your child to manage his feelings. Possessiveness is an inherent quality and if your daughter doesn’t allow her best friend to make new friends, then, insist that she plays only with you, as you dislike her playing with others. When she protests, enlighten her that her friend too isn’t bound to her alone!

By creating a secure environment, you will get to know your child better, their fears, shortcomings and their attitude. Thus, you will be raising their self-esteem too.

3. Smart parents’ smart parenting secret is to devote some time daily for their children. No matter how busy you are, ask about their day, share yours. Let this time be spent wisely and not in criticism. Instead of asking what they learnt in class, ask them what they did and how they feel. “So how was your day?” seems less threatening than, “So what did your learn?” While you share yours, expose them to any difficulty you may have experienced and how you solved them. Bet, you too will learn better coping skills!
4. Criticize their behavior and not them, is a parenting secret you got to chalk down as your new resolution. Calling them ‘slow-coach’, ‘delicate darling’, ‘liar’, ‘dumb’ etc will either discourage them or can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your daughter when called ‘delicate darling’ will prefer being delicate forever!
5. A kind parenting secret is never to compare your child with his peers or sibling. Although comparisons aren’t that bad and are needed, how you compare matters! With regards to grades, find what he excels in and encourage him. You can instill the same interest in subjects his foundation is weak in. While some children are arithmetically inclined, some are wordsmiths. But you can instill an interest in Arithmetic by teaching him logic or showing him a pattern that works with numbers.

When you exclaim, “If John could do it, so can you,” you are reassuring him. Instead when you remark, “Wonder why you can’t get the point when John can”, you are doubting your child’s ability. Compare your child’s previous performance with his latest, instead of one child with another.

6. Lastly, sometimes, it isn’t bad to cocoon your child from people’s harsh comments. Teach your child to take criticism in her stride, but whenever necessary, it’s wise to step in and draw attention to your child’s positive traits. Your child will be grateful that you are there by their side.

Finally, make your own parenting secrets and others will soon be amazed to watch your children grow!